Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize