we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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