I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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