She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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