And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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