Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
