ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
