Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
