fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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