How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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