I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
