I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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