He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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