Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
