This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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