Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
