i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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