I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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