She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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