So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
