Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
