Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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