Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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