The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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