question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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