only if we run a train.
done.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
