Quick, to the slutcave!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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