Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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