I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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