she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
