I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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