Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
