Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
