Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Drake has all the answers
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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