Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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