I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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