Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.