i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
