The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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