half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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