Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
