This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
