420 ftw
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
