Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize