Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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