Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
love makes seman taste better
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
