he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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