Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
