he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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