Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
