Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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