I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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