so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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