Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
