weddingsv make me drug and hornr
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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