You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
