My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
