ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
