butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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